 |
| A rare snippet of beauty found in the Gulag. Fine! A not-so-rare snippet. Photo credit to Shannon. |
Wow. I guess I didn't realize that my confinement in the Gulag would eventually end ... darn it! I would have exuded more energy and tolerance if I had known this was temporary. (Sort of like when you’re working out and you think you’ve still got 20 minutes left, so you don’t push too hard, so as to ration energy, and then suddenly the treadmill shuts off and you’re like, “Drat, I totally could have given it my all.” Unless you're like me, in which case you just think, “THANK HEAVENS ITS OVER!!!”)
Honestly, though, a hometown is a wonderful place to live. It is a valid community, filled with amazing, wonderful people living more-than-legit lives. Life at home is chock full of opportunities for wonder and grace and truth and grandeur. There’s nothing wrong with the Gulag!!! But it is a slower pace of life. Maybe a little too slow sometimes. Or at least, too slow for a young person who's fresh out of college, ready to take on the world. DAHHHHH!!! I just want to GO. I want to move faster, learn more, try new things, and build stuff (specifically movie stuff). I want to do new. So in the rather unkind words of George Bailey, “I’m shaking the dust of this crummy little town and I’m gonna’ see the world! I’m gonna’ build skyscrapers a mile high and bridges a mile long ..."
However, I know that many of my friends just graduated, and are currently facing their own daunting Gulag imprisonments. In the eight months of my confinement, I had a lot of time to think about life, get depressed, eat ice cream, and jog away my sorrows. So I'd like to pass on some Gulag wisdom/encouragement. Please take it with a grain of salt (and a spoonful of sugar):
· Loneliness and boredom can kill. They are merciless slayers of personality and mental stability. So don’t let yourself get too bored or lonely. Keep busy. Take up a blog, a TV show, a hobby, a hobby horse, or even a hobby farm. Ignore any ideas for “fun” activities that pop into your head late at night in the dead of winter:
“Hey, Erin, walk down the gravel road for a few miles in the dark and see what happens!!”
“What if a coyote starts following me?”
“They don’t attack people! Think about how creepy it would be!! All your friends on Facebook would love it.”
“I don’t enjoy creepy fun. And I don’t have any friends. Plus that’d be really cold.”
“Good point. Why don't you drink hot cocoa and huddle in a blanket for warmth instead.”
(Another reason to avoid getting too lonely ... you begin having Smeagol/Gollum conversations with yourself.)
“What if a coyote starts following me?”
“They don’t attack people! Think about how creepy it would be!! All your friends on Facebook would love it.”
“I don’t enjoy creepy fun. And I don’t have any friends. Plus that’d be really cold.”
“Good point. Why don't you drink hot cocoa and huddle in a blanket for warmth instead.”
(Another reason to avoid getting too lonely ... you begin having Smeagol/Gollum conversations with yourself.)
· Your mind, brilliant as it is, cannot entertain itself for months on end. You do need stimulation, external mental stimulation. So please read some books, blogs, or even old homework essays (it may come to that). Just make sure its stuff that makes you think. You don’t want to become mentally obese; all intake with no processing or output. You’ll feel like a zombie: sluggish, slow, and fated for an eternal half-life existence. Mental exercise is critical to maintaining sanity.
· Jogging (aka the cursed “physical exertion”) could save your life. When there’s not enough going on socially/mentally to make you feel like a valued member of society, go for a run so that at least you’ve struggled and overcome something that day. It’ll burn off some frustration too. Heck, it might even zap a few calories. All good things to those who jog.
· Isolation = Anxiety Orgy. Not cool. Also, wrong and unhealthy. Be thankful for the past, be prepared for the future, and be content with the present. Decline the invitation to cross bridges you haven’t come to yet. Don’t allow your imagination to play with your fears. Watch lots of kitten videos. Do a lot of praying.
· Re-entering society does not cure you of selfishness or anxiety. It only distracts you from the ever-present fear and calibrates your sense of social decency. Which is actually still a pretty good deal when you’re depressed. Just remember: the grass may be greener on the other side, but it’ll still need mowing.
· It took me a while to see it, but it sure is beautiful out in the country. In a quiet, still sort of way. It’s hard to see the beauty of the things you’ve looked at for twenty-some years. I wonder if I’ll miss the gentle rolling hills of farm land and sandy gravel road. On the other hand, glad I’m getting out before it turns into a barren wasteland full of disgusting bugs, heavy with moisture and heat, overexposed into flat shades of gold under the brutal summer sun. Plus my apartment will have AIR CONDITIONING!!! A basic necessity I’ve done without for the past twenty years of my life. Civilization at last.
Let's be clear: there’s nothing wrong with living at home. You will need to adjust to a different rhythm of life, but that’s not so terrible (for a limited amount of time). Hold out hope, enjoy the moment, make friends, serve the community, pray and jog frequently, and keep sending out ye’ olde resume. Tis your ticket to freedom. Unless you find a golden ticket inside a candy bar. In which case, rip up your resume and start researching Munchkin Labor Union regulations.
