"Boys are Stupid"

"Kerry" probably has a thing for "Andrew A."
(photo credit to myself)

“Boys are stupid.”

Many a girl has spewed those words in a fit of infatuated rage. And the phrase is usually followed with a tale of a romantic intrigue, love triangulation, and an attractive but oblivious male with an infuriating Cupid-immunity. Or at least, that’s how most of the girls I interviewed (just kidding, this isn’t scientific) justified the phrase. But then most of the girls I talk to are boy-crazy college gals, which isn’t exactly a fair demographic. Although … I have heard it from older women too … primarily in the context of forgotten anniversaries/tactless remarks/yet-to-be-fulfilled promises/etc.

Nevertheless, I’ve always thought the generalization was rather unfair. Until one day it hit me … boys are kind of stupid. They – generally speaking – do not pick up on the social subtleties, the nonverbal and unstated (yet extremely meaningful) relational hints that girls give. Like the “Hey, would you help me fix my car” line, which obviously translates to “I like you, and I think you’re cool, and I think that WE PROBABLY OUGHTA HANG OUT MORE OFTEN!!!”**   sigh   So obviously obvious.

So, yes, boys are stupid when it comes to romance. Thank the Maker. Because girls are ridiculously silly when it comes to romance.

Girls. Oye. How shall I describe them? Hypersensitive, manipulative, hormonal (need I go on?), vain, overly-jealous, drama queens (yes, I needed to go on). And if the boys ever caught on to how truly silly the girls were … well, we might not have a human race.

So the next time, girls, when you’re freaking out (screaming underwater, practicing Lamaze at stoplights, crying over a pint of ice cream, etc.) because your target isn’t falling into any of the traps you’re setting, just stop. And be grateful. Because he’s also not going to call security when you “randomly” walk by his locker every Tuesday morning. Or calculate the awkwardness of your every conversation. Or schedule a counseling session to help you get a grip on your mania. Count them blessings, girls, count them blessings.

Bottom line: boys are stupid because girls are silly. It’s a survival technique. Thank the Maker.

**This does not guarantee the flirtatious nature of every female plea for vehicular assistance. Exercise caution, use the Force, and don’t sue me.